|||

ready? no, not ready

So I’m four days out from driving my one and only kiddo to his new home at college. And this dad is struggling with the idea. Not because I think it’s a bad idea. It most definitely is a great one. He, like everyone who lives a pretty sheltered existence, absolutely needs to get out of his itty bitty isolated town. Not necessarily forever, but at least to taste as broad an experience of people and the world as he can. And I’m super excited for him to have that!

But I’m also super sad to see him go. Sure, it’s only 5 hours away. Sure, we can call or text anytime. Sure, he can do the same. But it’s not like he will be just down the stairs. Or just in town hanging out with his friends.

Did I do enough for him? Did I tell him I loved him as often as he needed it? Because I didn’t say it as often as I felt it. Because, I man. Ridiculous.

And is he ready? (of course not. no one really is.) Will the world eat him up? I just want him safe and secure. But a well-lived life isn’t going to be always safe and secure.

And then there’s the existential what the hell am I, now? His arrival into my life nineteen years ago altered me in such a way that I can’t even really remember who I was before. Certainly not who I will be after we drop him off. But also, neither will I be quite who I am today.

not ready!

Miss you already… and, of course, love you always Toby! 🥲

Up next SOTD August 18, 2023 SOTD August 19, 2023
Latest posts SOTD June 17, 2024 SOTD June 16, 2024 SOTD June 15, 2024 SOTD June 14, 2024 SOTD June 13, 2024 SOTD June 12, 2024 SOTD June 11, 2024 SOTD June 10, 2024 SOTD June 09, 2024 SOTD June 08, 2024 SOTD June 06, 2024 SOTD June 05, 2024 SOTD June 04, 2024 SOTD June 03, 2024 SOTD June 02, 2024 SOTD June 01, 2024 SOTD May 31, 2024 SOTD May 30, 2024 SOTD May 29, 2024 SOTD May 28, 2024 SOTD May 27, 2024 SOTD May 26, 2024 SOTD May 25, 2024 SOTD May 24, 2024 SOTD May 23, 2024 SOTD May 22, 2024 SOTD May 21, 2024 SOTD May 20, 2024 SOTD May 19, 2024 SOTD May 18, 2024 SOTD May 17, 2024